I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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