You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize