I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
