I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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