How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
