if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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