i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
