Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
