I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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