Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
