Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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