Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
