i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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