i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
