Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
