Please, let me fuck your mom
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
