So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
