We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
