Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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