I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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