It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
They took my balls.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
