sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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