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she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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