Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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