in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
