walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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