Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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