im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
