As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize