i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
