we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
