he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
