so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize