Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
