put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
