we made out on top of his cat.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
