i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize