sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize