Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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