Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
