Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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