Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
