Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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