The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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