Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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