My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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