Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
