The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
bring money and cleavage
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
