He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
