today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i out mim tonsoeep
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