69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
