margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
