New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
