There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
