Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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