The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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