so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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