In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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