I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
