I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
