That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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