there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
