its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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